It's only a number

When I play poker, numbers are important. I like to calculate the odds and use that to determine the risks and rewards of taking certain actions. Numbers are cool.

But I've watched people obsess about certain numbers. Numbers like 7, 13 are very important to some people because they believe that they carry some sort of magic. There are numbers with religious meaning, but in western society and base 10 numerical system, we seem to be fascinated with with any number where N mod 10 = 0.

After you pass the age 21, landmark birthdays all seem to hover around the tens. I've always thought 36 was cool because you could finally date someone half your age and not go to prison. Must be a guy thing. Although, 42 means you can finally take her to a bar and have a beer and 52 she might be mature enough to finally not annoy the shit out of you.

I've witnessed people collapse with emotion on their 30th birthday. Worried that their youth was gone and there was no turning back. Like somehow, in the passing of a number on the calendar, they life was changed.

Numbers are really cool! Like the name of this blog, I am, without a doubt, a geek, but for all of my love of numbers, I have rarely put stock in the calendar. It's a bizarre system created in 1582 to measure time. We have chosen to mark time by the number of trips we've made around the sun. A day is the time it takes for the earth to spin once relative to it's axis. But does this really mean anything?

I've set a couple of goals for myself that were time related. When I was in 5th grade, I wanted to be a rich engineer by age 35. Yes, in 5th grade, I wanted to be an engineer. Of course, at 17 I wanted to be an engineer too. And at 23 I wanted to be a rock god. At 26, I wanted to be an engineer again. Well, at 40, I'm thinking rock god again...but I digress. I wanted to have my first child AFTER the age of 30. Check. But that's pretty much it.

I don't really understand people who 'feel' a certain age. What the hell does that mean? I feel pretty much like I did yesterday and I can't really remember feeling any different. I got more sleep years ago but the hangovers in your early 20's pretty much insure that each day will feel better then you did then. Nausea is no way to wake up in the morning...just sayin'.

Today, I feel great. I still love life, family and adventure as much as I ever have. My priorities are different. I know what it means to love a child more then my own life. I've discovered that beyond the quest for cuddle time with girls, there's a deep love for my wife that will never fade and can't be replaced.

Putting a time limits on living life is stupid. I have goals. Many of them are dreams whose time limit is what ever time I have left here. I gotta feeling that when I'm dead, I ain't gonna be taking a cruise with my wife in Greece the following summer. But I guess you never know.

Today is my birthday. Today I turn 40. Do I feel any different then yesterday? Nope. Am I just as excited for the next adventure? Yep. Any regrets? Nope...well, there are things I still need to get done.

• I'd like to see Pearl Jam one more time, preferably at the The Joint at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas.
• I'd like to play in the World Series of Poker. Hell, I'd like to play in Bobby's Room with Phil Ivey.
• I'd like to go to every blogger gathering.
• I love watching my kids grow up and learn about the world around them.
• I'd like to have the first dance at my daughters' weddings, because that's Dad's dance damn it.
• I'd like to play with my grandkids and take them to Twins games and fill them so full of sugar they can't sleep that night.
• I can't wait to make fun of everyone that's got a wrinkled tattoo at the old folks home or their nipple piercings keep falling out.
• I can't wait to get really grey and look at my wife and know that she's still the most beautiful woman in the world.

I turned 40 today. Bring it world. We have lots to do and I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!