Saturday, October 16, 2010

Sharing the love of mathematics

I just got off the phone. I know there's a loophole in the "Do Not Call List" legislation that allows companies that you have a business relationship with to still call your home phone a solicit business despite your name being on the list.

My bank, which shall remain nameless here cuz, they are huge, national and have lawyers that can make me wish I had never been born and I just don't have time for that kind of harassment, has shacked up with every home services company to allow them to use their name. My guess is they can't make enough money the old fashioned way (loaning money out at reasonable interest rates using money that collect through savings account with which they share the money from the interest on the loans - I know, old fashioned) and fees, so they are branching out and diluting their brand with every last gimicky home service company. But this rant is digressing...crap.

Anywho. I got this call from a guy. He did an excellent job of reading the first page of the script. I did my usual of waiting for the part where he asks my permission to record the call to avoid any clerical errors (protect their asses from lawsuits from guys like me). At that time I politely tell him I'm not interested. We all know what happens next...right?

Yes, he turns to page 2, they one they are supposed to read when caller says they aren't interested. It's basically the same as page one, only with more emphasis on the no risk part (of course there's risk, I'll forget to cancel, they'll bill me, and then never cancel me...d'oh!) although with this script he ends with, "I can send you the materials to see just how much this can help you."

Sigh. I retort with, "I know this won't help me, I know how to do math." You see, most of the programs are betting you will never use their service and just keep paying a fee that even if you call in for a repair, the lifetime of your payments will be much larger then any bill you submit. Why else would they be in business? You can't make money if you don't take in more then you spend.

In a first for me lately, I'm sure I pissed off another telemarketer in the past, he responds. "Well fine smart ass." and hangs up.

Good bye to you too. I wonder if he'd turned on the recording, you know, for quality assurance purposes. That's gotta be one for training week.


Tara R. said...

We had a similar exchange this week, not with a telemarketer, but the finance manager at the car dealership where we just bought a car. Wanted us to buy into a service program that we knew we'd never use. He was incredulous we didn't want it, he did however, refrain from swearing at us.

LiteralDan said...

Even though overall it's funny, I would still be fuming about this for days. I know it's a rough job, but so's professional burglarizing-- I don't have to make any of your poor career choices MY problem.

I sure hope someone was listening, for "assuring quality".

seashore subjects said...

Hmm. I may have the same big bank you do. I politely asked them not to call my home with more "great offers" and was told I couldn't do that without having it in writing and submitted here, there, and everywhere. Ugh.