Thursday, January 14, 2010

Closing out the bucket list one item at a time

Still busy as a beavers at the OhCaptain house. Before I get to the bucket list story I just have to tell you about, here's some of what's keeping me distracted lately.

Although, this blog has taken the brunt of the neglect. My photo blog heated up again recently when I started posting a bunch of pictures from my Las Vegas trip in December and a new photo challenge I'm doing with a few locals. Be sure to check it out -

The other blog getting my attention is my poker blog. I've been posting all the stories from the Blogger Winter Gathering, otherwise known as the WPBT Classic. Believe it or not, this trip really isn't all about poker. We do some crazy stuff. Check it out In other big news about that blog, it got added to the line up at Minnesota Poker Magazine. Yo!

So, the stories you've been missing Let's see. Lately, my life has only felt like it would be interesting to some dude that's spent an year on an island talking to a volleyball. For the most part, I might write a story like, "Today, I took the kids to school, the 6 year old was whiny, my 10 year old forgot [insert something new every day], I went to work and did things I can't write about here without violating my non-disclosure agreement....yada, yada, yada...

Well, until today.

If you know me personally, you've probably figured out that I quite often take my own path through life. If you don't specifically post rules that I can follow, I'll just do it my way.

I'm not sure of all the details but OhCountess asked me to pick up OhPrincess1 at school this afternoon and take her to swimming practice. No biggie right? That's what guys that drive minivans and 4 door Saturns do.

In front of the school is the 'L' shaped driveway. Sure there's some handicapped parking out front. Sure, it's almost always empty and I'll bet you think I got in trouble for something with them, right? Nah. I had something happen to me in this little fluster cluck of a driveway that we rebel dads can only dream about...

I got yelled at, and I mean, YELLED AT by on mom driving on this mess.

When I pulled up today, I'm coming from work, I could see that pretty much everyone on the driveway was heading in one direction. So, being the lazy ass that I am, I pulled in from the other direction cuz there was room and I could see that the lane heading the other direction was wide open.

There's a spot to park, heading this direction right by the service door, I pulled in wide right as to make sure there was plenty of room for someone to get out the other way. This is when it gets fun.

This lady rolls down her window and just starts SCREAMING at me. "What are you doing? This is a one-way! My God! This is a one-way! You are going the wrong way! This is a one-way!"...yada, yada, yada...

I in the middle of my 6th year of being a parent at this school. Yo...lady. I smiling back at her. Yeah, I know I'm going against the grain, but hell, I've done this before. Officially, I know for a fact that this road isn't a one-way. Most of us just park in what ever direction we want to leave. I didn't recognize this lady so I'm actually thinking she's just picking up. A student on a transfer.

Now, she looked like she was going to get out of her car. Man, was she on FIRE! I had always hoped to be the dad getting yelled at by a crazy woman at my kids school. I mean a guys got to have dreams right? My mind started racing about all kinds of fun things to do with this woman. I'm pretty sure that one of these would have made for a great story if she hadn't chickened out and left. Which one do you think might have made for the best story?

(Keep in mind, I double checked...the road is definitely not a one-way)
  1. After letting her say her peace, calmly tell her, "I'm so sorry ma'am, when I was driving in, I was distracted trying to figure out why I was the only one following the signs." (There are no signs)
  2. Offer to take her in and let her yell at me in front of the Principal's office so that a few more grownups could witness this. (Some of the other parents came up to me wondering what the hell was going...sigh)
  3. Whip out my iPod Nano and video tape the whole thing and offer to send her the link on YouTube.
  4. Tell her, "Come back in an hour when the clinic workers are done, this entire drive is facing the other direction." (It is. We all come from the other way and park facing in the direction I was)
  5. Stand in the middle of the road with her, let her just scream and holler waiting for the police non-emergency number to pick up and tell them there's a crazy woman screaming and yelling profanities in front of countless kids at the school. (My preference - her being cuffed and shoved into the squad would have ROCKED!)
I don't know, this was all I could think of just sitting there. I'm not the type of person that ever yells at people. I just don't get that. I'm also not the kind of person that would just cower and hide and gravel my way out of a situation when I know how exactly right I am (Ok, maybe I don't always stand my ground against the Mrs...the couch is lonely).

Why do people insist on doing this? Is it wrong of me to think of all these totally wicked ways to totally rain on her parade? Is Simon leaving American Idol gonna make that show so completely not worth watching or what? Does Victoria Beckham need to eat a few down sandwiches or what? Can I possibly come up with more stupid questions? Is there really an American Idol video game and people bought?

I give up!


WeaselMomma said...

I think I like #3 the best, but only if you got her email address.

The Father of Five said...

Oh, I so totally vote for #3.

We see so much of that here where I work... Folks that are drunk, high, on an adrenaline rush - that they have NO IDEA just how crazy they are acting!

Then, the bonus for #3 would be that the video would become "viral" with the other parents of the school!!

It's made to look like real footage, but it's re-enactments.. Despite the bad acting, you'd be amazed on how accurate the message is..


The lesson here... If you'd be embarrassed to see (or for the world to see) how you are acting as a YouTube video - DON'T ACT THAT WAY!!!