A little something in our pockets

I was watching the Today show this morning, getting ready for work. Matt Lauer was interviewing this video blogger person that I missed the details of. The premise of the story was people were upset that a candidate for the prize of Miss USA answered a decidedly loaded question in a way that was offensive.

She was asked by Perez Hilton if she supported gay marriage.

To the politically correct hypocritists, there really is only one correct answer to this question. The art of this answer is how you get to "let everyone be".

Just let it be known for the record that I will probably never tell anyone what my opinion of gay marriage is. This post isn't about the answer. It's about the response to it. What she said wrong was she had an opinion that the Establishment has deemed incorrect. She has offended people that believe differently then her, so by offending someone has performed act considered deviant.

So, why is this hypocritical? Isn't marginalizing her opinion the same thing they are complaining about? The interviewee on the Today show said something that surprised me in it's blatant hypocrisy. He complained that she talked of her Christian values and was all "Jesus this and Jesus that". Why was he complaining? Because that was offensive to the Jews and the Muslims of the world.

WTF?

Why is the expression of one religion bad when the expression of the other religions good? Herein lies the problem with political correctness. Political correctness dictates that no group should be marginalized by another group. The only way that it is possible to enforce this is to marginalize someone and thus hypocrisy.

In British Columbia, Canada, an employee of McDonald's decided to sue the company because their hand washing policy violated her human right not to wash her hands. That's a link. You can read about it in great detail there.

Yes, it's more important that this one woman feel good about herself then it is for you to eat at McDonald's and not come down with whatever that was Bevis and Butthead were scratching. Who's hungry?

I found an article from a writer at the Campbell River Mirror, Sean Smith, called Everybody should have pocket copy of the Charter. He calls to action us common sense folks to do something extraordinary. Now, he's Canadian, they have a Charter, I'm sure that's more similar to our Constitution then it is to my Whiskey Club's rules, let's hope, but we could apply this to our Constitution and Bill of Rights as well. He suggests we carry a copy with us, a pocket version, and when someone complains about their rights being violated, whip that thing out and ask "Which one?"

Deafening silence.

I don't like hypocrisy. It's ugly. It's uglier then anything I can think of. Am I guilty of it? Sure. Is it impossible to avoid, maybe. Should we legislate it? How about we try not to. The funny thing about all of this is I really don't care about what her opinion of gay marriage is. She has one, she expressed it. Some people didn't like, others did.

We've come full circle in this nation. It once institutionalized bigotry and hatred. That was a horrible thing. Let's remember what Martin Luther King, Jr. said August 28, 1963, 

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I wonder if people really understand what that means. It seems to me, that today, we're only exchanging the 'color of the skin' concept and inserted other superficial traits. The content of the character is what's truly important. Not judging people by anything other. Alas, today, we judge people for all kinds of things, character is rarely one of them.

I'm guilty of being a male of nothern European decent. I'm also Irish and a geek and I paid my own way through college. I also speak a foreign language and I have a $5 bill in my pocket. I think woman are pretty. I don't like vegetables. I eat meat. I drink pop and beer and ethanol distillates. I break wind in public places. I'm sure I offended everyone by now. I represent all the evil in the world. Get rid of me and all will be better. You see, I'm neither a Democrat nor a Republican. I'm most definitely not the status quo.

Perez Hilton asking that question is almost a vetting process in itself. It helps to discriminate against people based on their moral and religious beliefs. A candidate for Miss USA must accept certain moral and religious beliefs or at least tow the party line in order to win the crown. There was only one right answer to the people responding to her answer, but she stood by her beliefs.

Where do we want this nation to go? In British Columbia, McDonald's can no longer force an employee to wash their hands. It's offensive. What about the people who find dirty hands handling food offensive, who do we sue? My right to a life without food poisoning is being infringed.

I want to live my life in peace. Please respect that. Suck it up, turn the other cheek and move on.

Thanks to NapWarden at NapWarden Designs for the custom soap box graphics! You're awesome!

Don't Buy Stuff You Can't Afford - Duh!

Who knew?

Getting foodie on a Sunday evening

How was your weekend? As you could probably tell, our date night ROCKED! Heart was a fantastic concert and I couldn't have had better company. OhCountess and I shared one of those rare evenings spending a little time alone together. You see, time has become very scarce.

OhCountess is counting the days to graduation. She's got 19 day until graduation. W00T! W00T! Unfortunately, that means everything is due. We get what time we can from her right now and enjoy it as much as possible.

Last night, we had a family wedding to attend. Today, OhCountess has been working hard on finishing her last paper. HER LAST PAPER. To cap off our weekend, we spent the day letting mom write the paper and dad and the kids cleaned the house. Our reward at the end of the weekend was preparing a feast suitable for eating on a blanket in the living room while watching one of our new favorite movies, Bedtime Stories.

That movie is just hilarious. I've always been an Adam Sandler movie fan, never seeming to get sick of watching Billy Madison, but Bedtime Stories is one of the few movies we can watch with the kids. Explaining why Chris Farley is kissing a giant penguin or why a guy with a potty mouth just punched Bob Barker can be so hard.

I would like to warn the vegans, those that are offended by SPAM or people thinking all foodie posts should be fine dining. The rest of this post is not for you. We are about to make an old OhCaptain family recipe - Spam Burgers.

When I was a kid growing up, there was one dinner that my grandmother would make that made my brother and I go crazy. We begged her to make us them when ever we were visiting.

Both of my parents grew up in Spamtown, USA. It wasn't until later in life that I actually found out that some people just don't get spam. To us, it was the main ingredient in one of our favorite dinners.

During the getting serious phase of dating my wife, she at first told me she would never eat these little round slices of goodness. Of course I talked her into trying one (I used the "you made me eat squid" line - they told me calamari was onion rings. That one still hurts). Her love for me grew. After eating her first, she too became a fan.
There was a time when my mother-in-law and sister-in-law (she was 9 or 10 at the time) had come to live with us. OhCountess was working evenings and I decided to make my favorite childhood dinner. It's impossible to make a single serving of these, so a batch was made. I put 2 on a plate and brought them to our house guests. At first they said, "You're kidding, there's no way we are eating these."

I left the plate and told them to throw them away if they didn't want them but this was all I was making.

5 minutes later, my SIL returned the now empty plate and asked if I could make them some more. The rest is history.

You see, these aren't the prettiest things in the world and I'm quite sure they aren't health food but making them and eating them is always really easy. Here's the recipe:

• 1 can of Spam. We prefer the lite or low sodium varieties.
• 1 can of cream of mushroom soup. Again, the light or low sodium is preferred. There will be plenty of salt...trust me. Besides, it's not a true Minnesota recipe without cream of mush.
• 1 6-8oz (170-225 g) brick of medium ore sharp cheddar cheese.

That's it. To prepare them, preheat your oven to 350° (177° C). While the oven heats up, put the spam and the cheese through a meat grinder. This is mostly to just schmooyee them together.

Once everything is ground up, add a can of cream of mushroom soup to the meat and cheese and stir until well blended. Spread on burger buns (we prefer the cheap ones, fancy ones just don't get crispy...go figure)

Bake for 10 minutes or until the spread starts to get gooey.

This is both OhPrincess1 and OhPrincess2's favorite dinner, just like their dad's and their uncle's. We have yet to serve these to anyone that have tried them and really didn't like them. A couple of vegans looked at them and thought we were the devil incarnate, but I could have served them a slow cooked slab of prime rib and got the same response.

The best part of spam burgers is we can do them together. I operate the meat grinder and the kids are in charge of spreading the love.

You know what, I think this is the first post I've ever done in the "Food Porn" category. hehe. 

I leave you with the only Heart video I could find from the last 2 or 3 years. Just in case you didn't know who they were...

What a show...here's the pics!

We posted pics to here and to Twitpic. Figured I'd also put up the pics we took with the better then our phone's camera camera.

Enjoy! (We did!)

Magic Man

Out on a date: Heart in Concert

The blue is the stage. The band will be Heart. Our 5 year old was
actually mad we didn't take her too. "Mom! They are one of my 2
favorite bands!"

Perhaps, Dad is play a wee bit too much Guitar Hero.

Tea Parties: Do the politians get it?

I've been watching the reactions to the Tea Party Day celebrated across our country. Reactions to the event have been quite surprising to me.

I've made no secret that my biggest issue in the last election was the economy. I watched President Obama make promise after promise and all just seemed to add to our nations debt. To me, this isn't a partisan issue. George W. Bush wasn't afraid to run up a debt either. He spent plenty of money on some truly horrible ideas.

So, on my local newspaper's website today is an article covering the local Tea Party gathering at a local park. Our newspaper is usually pretty balanced in their coverage. It's a fairly tech savvy group of writers over there. Several of them are active twitterer's.

One thing that struck me in the article, in some of the comments and from other areas of the US, is how this issue can be so blindly political. Pretty soon, this issue needs to move from partisan bickering to just plain mathematics and economics. Regardless of your political views, eventually, you can only spend what you make. Period.

But Olmsted County DFL Chair Lynn Wilson said the tea party was clearly a partisan event for economic conservatives.

"I wish these people had shown so much interest back during the last eight years when our budget deficit skyrocketed," Wilson said.

From this quote pulled from the above mentioned local article, I gather that the DFL just doesn't get it. I don't think they realize that people were upset about the spending during the previous administration, but the resposne we were getting from their party was "Tax cuts for 95% of Americans and free healthcare!" What?

In physics, as well as accounting, one law that never changes is the idea of balance in the system. In physics it's the law of conservation of mass/matter. Matter is neither created nor destroyed in a controlled system. It's only converted from one state to another. 

In accounting, 

Assets = Liabilities + (Shareholders or Owners equity)

So, OhCaptain, what the hell are you talking about?

Hopefully soon, our nation realizes that we need to live within our means. From what I've read, this was what the Tea Party movement is all about. We are increasing dramatically the Liabilities part of the equation without regard for what this does to the equation.

I took this chart from the Tax Policy Center website to show you the number that we really need to be thinking about. Our national debt's annual interest payments are now at 9% of our total budget. For every dollar you pay in taxes, 9 cents goes to interest.

Let's remember what interest is, it's money down the toilet. We pay interest because we borrowed money we didn't have to buy things we didn't need.

Our government has become a spending machine. George W. spent like a crazy man on "The Global War on Terror". A valiant effort, except for the fact that they have no idea where billions of dollars went.

One the economy tanked late last year, The Department of the Treasure was given a $700,000,000,000 to help save the financial sector. The most amazing fact of this bill? It has almost no oversight. The Treasury Secretary has final authority over its disbursement. That's $2,303.96 for every man, woman and child currently a resident in the U.S. and this wasn't even the beginning of the spending.

The stimulus bill passed by Obama and the Democrats totaled $819,000,000,000 and change. Running the math again (damn math), that's another $2,695.63/person living, right now.

Anyone think it would be a good idea to just right a check to everyone for $5,000? A check to a family of 4 would be $20,000. Not too shabby but quite possibly the dumbest idea ever.

This process is like a college kid getting a couple of credit cards. Sure, they have $10,000 in available credit and they will spend it, but come the 15th of the month when the bill comes, they still don't have a job and can't pay the bill. Spending this kind of money is just hitting the ATM every month with your credit card and living outside your means.

We have to quit spending. Period. Tax cuts won't help this problem. Bailouts won't help this problem. Spending less will.

I just don't see how someone thinks that because I want the U.S. government to live within it's means, I'm a radical right-wing extremist. I'm not. I'm a guy that wants a future for his kids where they can afford to enjoy themselves and not be burdened with the bills of our generation. The waitress is coming with the check and some one's gonna need to pay it? Who should it be?

Weather Conditions from The Weather Channel

Temp: 66F
Feels like: 66F
Sunny and Windy
Humidity: 29%
Wind: SSE at 20 mph
Last Updated: 4/16/09 12:25 PM CDT

That's so beautiful, I'm tearing up.

Prepping for Easter: Community Ed Delivers

The lives at the continue to just be busy. OhCountess has just past the 4 weeks to go mark for her Masters degree. While it's great she's ALMOST done, it also means that everything is also due. 3 years of work. We are so very proud of her and we miss her.

Our community education programs are fantastic. There are many interesting choices for both personal and family time activities and learning. This past Thursday night was family time for us. I got to snap some pictures of my girls at work decorating stuff in preparation for Easter Sunday.

This class worked out great. It was egg decorating time. For our price of admission, each kid got a dozen boiled eggs. Then they had several tables set up, each with a different egg decorating kit on it. Wow. Was this fun. Here's the highlights in photos.

OhPrincess2 getting the stripes on this egg just right.

It was fun to watch them work so hard on getting each egg just right. OhPrincess1 had a plan for this green and blue one.

This table featured metallic paint. OhCountess and OhPrincess2 went to town making shiny eggs.

You want to see a 5 year old focused...I'm so proud of her getting this one just right.

One of the best things about being a dad is watching your kids grow creatively. OhPrincess1 did this one with blue polka dots and red dots made wispy. So COOOL!

One of the other projects was to decorate cloth "baskets". The hot glue guns were operated by grown-ups and the kids arranged the decorations.

The last activity of this class was an organized egg hunt. Not the ones we just decorated, but a whole new set. Each child was told that there were 13 eggs they could collect, but the catch was they could only collect only one egg of each shape/color. There were 3 different sized blue eggs, for example.

This event was a lot of fun for all of us. Everyone is still working on getting the dye off their hands. If this class is offered again next year, you can count us in. Tomorrow - we eat. Nummy hard boiled eggs.

Have a Happy Easter everyone!

Play Ball!

A rite of passage for a little girl

I've written about this before. In our house, we don't believe that you do things like pierce the ears of a child without their desire.

Our 9 year old has had her ears pierced for a while. Her mom was really excited when she wanted to get them pierced. For some reason, I wasn't. She passed the test which means she came to me on her own and had to ask me if she could get her ears pierced. I then proceeded to grill her with a series of questions that are both scary (Do you know that this will hurt?) to showing signs of resposibility. When she succeeded, I knew my baby girl was growing up. I hate that.

Our 5 year old has been asking to get her ears pierced for a while now. She's even passed the interview with daddy. Finding the right time to do it was proving to be a challenge.

For little girls, it was suggested that we do this at a time when the store had two staff available. That way, each ear could be pierced simultaneously. Not a bad idea.

Now - a rite of passage for a little girl: in pictures

This week was spring break. Mom had a lighter load at school and the local Claire's had 2 staff working Friday afternoon. The chair you see here was ready and the time was right.

She chose her big sister as the person she wanted to hold hands with. She was a little scared but to say she wasn't excited would be a colossal undersatement.

Her hair was pulled back revealing the smile that had been on her face since we told her where she was going. She so wants to be a big girl.

She was really trooper and just sat so still while the clerk marked the spot. It took a couple times to find the right spot everyone agreed on. She didn't wiggle a bit. I didn't even know that was possible.

There's that smile. I think she's ready!!!

All done! Look the smile is still there. All looks good.

Well, she held her smile for a minute. And that's the full 60 seconds, but the waterworks did finally start. She was so brave for sooo long! My heart broke.

But in the end, my baby girl became a little girl. She's really happy with the results and has been going out of her way to make sure everyone knows. She's a big girl now...look! Can't you see my ears?

Awards: Yeah!

Back on November 17, 2008, WeaselMomma, Father of Five and Dmarks took the time to remember me and listed me as the recipient of several awards. I had written these up, but never got to posting the nice pictures that go with them.

Having a memory that's some where between a sieve and a steal trap. I had never forgotten that I had these pictures out there that needed posting.

This time, I think the steal trap was working because I just really didn't want to forget. They are pretty cool.

---

Michelle, from over at Confessions of a Desperate House Wife, list me on as a Kreativ Blogger Award recipient.

Now, this was from a post on April 1. There is a chance that his is an April Fools joke, and I'm the butt of said joke...but I'm running like I ain't.

The rules:

1~ I share with you seven things that I love

2~I nominate seven other bloggers for the honor

Seven Things I Love:

1. Dancing with the devil in the pale moon light. No, wait, that would be the Joker from the Tim Burton "Batman" movie. I know...I love movies! Not slasher movies, or movies that involve entirely too much romance. Good movies. Funny movies. Movies where things go "BOOM!" I'm also a sucker for really good animated kid movies.
2. Music. Need I go on here? If you read any of my tweets on Twitter or random posts around here, you'll find out, I love music.
3. Hugs.
4. Quiet walks holding hands with my wife. I know, I'll go get a room.
5. Being amazed by my kids. They amaze me all the time, but I never get sick of it.
6. Laughing with friends. Be it hanging with the guys over a card table, stinking up the burban on the drive back from the cities...Laughing is great.
7. I love my family. My wife, my kids and the rest of the people that share our bloodline. You know who you are :-)

Now, who to list that doesn't already have this? I'm gonna have to research this a little. Or, I could just assume that since you read this, you have to be a kreativ blogger. I know you come here to make sure your blogs are better then the worst of them...I set the bar soooo high :-)

1. MumblingSages: great guy and I bet he's never been memed.
2. Carrie: she tells great stories of her kids.
3. Reggie Girl: She averages about 10 pictures per post. Seeing her hometown through her eyes is a blast.
4. Tom: Being Michael's Dad
5. Father of Five: You had better already be reading him
6. Gail: Squared off yet curvy - she's across the pond and busier then me.
7. YOU - go tag yourself! You know you deserve it!

There are so many deserving blogs, really, if you see your blog in the blogroll on the right...your tagged. If I'm missing your blog...let me know.

Taking a break

OhCountess is giving a presentation at work today, so for an hour, I
got play with the kids. I love working :-P

Need more time? Gmail to the rescue!

I've really been struggling lately to find time to do anything. My blogs need attention. My camera and photos need attention. I don't remember the last time I got my sock drawer organized. I think my kids have grow, I wouldn't know if they have. I just don't have time!

Calgon. Take me away!

When I opened Gmail this morning, I got the best present a busy professional, father, husband, blogger and social networking guru could ever ask for.

I've got a new assistant!

Gmail introduces Gmail Autopilot. This is from the announcement:

The easiest email could possibly be.

As more and more everyday communication takes place over email, lots of people have complained about how hard it is to read and respond to every message. This is because they actually read and respond to all their messages.

Yes folks, they were listening. Epic Win! Truly intelligent auto-responding email that's even adjustable. Personalized, computer generated responses to email.

You've got to check it out for yourself. Could it be too good to be true?

Thank you Google!

BTW - Happy Day After March 31st!

I'm not winning the 'PeTA Member of the Year' Award

As I've written before, I'm a dad, a husband and a man. That should be clear. I've also written about one of my great fears as a father. That one really isn't a 'drop to my knees and cry like a baby' fear, more of a 'hope to hell this never happens' fear. You ladies should know just how lucky you are. I'm breaking 'The Code' just writing this.

It is true. Men do have fears. Shh...don't go telling anyone I said it. I'll deny it like it's my job.

I'm sure you are wondering what this text on the left has to do with a picture of the band on the right. Well by the time I'm done telling this little story, hopefully you'll figure it out.So, Friday night is our monthly meeting of Whiskey Club. Friday was also the first day of spring break for the kids. Easy peasy. My parents had come down in the morning, spent part of the day hangin' in our fair city and then drove them back to my hometown to watch them while me and the Mrs work during the day and then I go out with the boys at night. The house was this magical place after work...it was quiet. Did you hear me? Q - U - I - E -T

I had about an hour to enjoy that quietness before I would need to leave for our monthly meeting. I had a little supper, watched some TV, dozed off for a few minutes (taking a huge risk here...napping without an alarm - EEK!)

My slumber was interrupted when I hear my cell phone ringing and almost in that same moment the door bell starts dinging. Whew! I would have hated sleeping through the meeting.

I had slipped into something more comfortable (t-shirt and boxer - seriously, get your mind out of the gutters), business formal is not the usual dress code for Bourbonators. When the door bell rang, I quickly realized that I should probably become less disheveled before stepping out of the bedroom. I do try to answer the door wearing pants.

Ringing my doorbell were two other Bourbonators. Holy crap! Was I hosting tonight? I answered the door. They were wondering how to get to the host's house. This month, the host lives about a mile from me...he's almost a stumble home. I get my things together and headed out to the garage to get my minivan.

To my surprise, I was greeted by a cat in the empty spot where the car usually sits. My friend asks, "is that your cat?" No. We don't have any pets, let alone a mangy looking cat.

We seen stray cats around the neighborhood before, and this one looked like one I'd seen. It's fur was a bit dusty looking and it was missing part of it's ear. It wasn't the mangiest cat I've ever seen but this cat was no ones fat, house cat.

I don't like cats. There, I said it. I don't wish ill will on them, but I don't like them. I REALLY don't like stray animals - AT ALL. There's this part of my brain that tells me that all animals that don't spend all their time indoors are swimming with diseases and/or parasites . I'm afraid of strays.

The friend asking the question seemed to like cats, he picked it up and carried it out of the garage (I seriously considered blowing chow right there...he held the cat...in his hands {shiver}). I backed the minivan out of the garage, shut the door and led the caravan to the site of Whiskey Club.

Now this really wouldn't be much of a story if if just ended there. We get it...OhCaptain's afraid of stray cats. But wait! Like any good infomercial - There's MORE!

I took it pretty easy on the liver and enjoyed a finger of a nice Irish Whiskey and a finger of an even better 16 year old Scotch. Washed it down with an average German Hefe-weissen beer,and followed it all with a Cherry Coke Zero. This isn't exactly enough to get me hammered. 3 drinks in 6 hours. I'm good to drive home.

I love this drive. It was a new moon so it's completely black on this country road. Not a car for miles. I'm usually nice and paranoid of hitting deer on nights like this. Not that I really care if I remove yet another one of these large rats from the eco-system, but they do tend to do some damage to the vehicle.

When I got home, I pulled the van in the garage, got my stuff and headed into the house. My bride had been asleep for hours, so I was trying to be extra quiet.

"Meeeooooooowwwwwwww!"

W - T - F ???

It was the sickest, loudest sound I'd heard. That mangy freakin' stray cat was back and wanted into my damn house!

This is where I'll be losing all the PeTA members that read my blog (No. I didn't kill it...). Under no circumstances will anyone in my house be allowed to provide room and board for a stray cat. There was no way I was letting this cat get cozy in my garage.

I needed a plan.

I was in the laundry which connects to the garage. The cat, was sitting on the step just outside this door. I opened the door just a crack to do a little intell. and the cat tried to make it in. A quick slam of the door kept him at bay. I closed the door that connects the laundry room to the rest of the house (I'd hate to have to burn down the house to get rid of whatever is on this damn thing), picked up stuff I wouldn't want it in contact with, made sure the closet door was closed. If I opened that door, he wasn't getting very far...but is this what I want to do?

I changed my plan to go out the front door of the house and open the garage door via the keyless remote. There was just too much risk to the inside of the house. Before leaving the laundry room, I grabbed a broom and a coat and headed out on my plan.

Having played countless hours of Cowboys & Indians and various other military style games as a boy, I employed a flanking maneuver on this flea bag in order to direct towards the now open garage door. I have a 3 stall garage. The third stall has lots of places to hide. My god, it's 2am, I really have no desire to drag this out.

Using the broom, I gently but sternly directed the cat to the open garage door. I got outside with it and hit the keypad to close the door. Had I really been thinking, I could have just grabbed a loose garage door opener. It's 2 am people.

Now that we were outside together, the cat really just wanted to get inside where it was warm. My cold, unfeeling heart still had no sympathy for this probably diseased cat entering my domicile., but CRAP! Now, how do I get back in my own damn house?

The feline intruder kept trying to snuggle up to me. Meowing pleasantly the whole time. There were brief moments that I started feeling sorry for the poor thing, it was in the low 30's, but just how many forms of lice could there be? Eew!

I worked my way back to the front door. It still closed from my exit, but I'm not small and still needed to make a space wide enough to get in without letting the cat sneak around me.

We danced for about 10 minutes in front of my house. Me gently nudging the cat with the broom, trying valiantly to keep the cootie breeding hair ball from touching me. Slowly working my way to the door. It had dawned on me that I might be very lucky that this is 2 am or someone watching me might really be enjoying a nice laugh...or better yet, making me a YouTube star.

This cat was good. I mean he was like NBA good at making moves. Parry left, he ducks and makes a quick move right. This little critter wasn't giving up easily. We ducked, dodged, swiveled, spun and nudged until finally, I got my big ass through the door and back in the house.

The now permanently unusable broom was returned to the cat free garage. I had defended my home.

I washed my hands for a good 5 minutes, took off my clothes in the laundry room and hoped that I wasn't already exposed to some zombie virus.

The furry Petri dish went back to standing next to my garage door. I could still hear him purring to get in. If my kids were here and saw that, they'd be begging me to let him in.

If it wasn't 2 am on a Saturday, I might have called Animal Control. It would be nice to know that if this cat wasn't already corrupted that it got a good home.

So, what were you doing at 2 am Saturday morning?

Sharing the story...

Every now and then, I read a story that just breaks my heart. One of my fake Internet friends that I'm pretty sure wouldn't be fake if not for the miles between us, shared a story today that just moved me to tears. I'll let you read it for yourself.

The Link

Peace.

*hugs WeaselMomm.

I'm gonna go hug my kids now...

Our published author

OhPrincess1 published her second book. Here she is unveiling her book at the class's authors tea.

Update: To make sure there is no confusion, this is a class project. All 28 members of her class made the books. They all happily unveiled their published works. Shh...it's a big deal to them.

I know - this is only the beginning

This morning, I'm getting ready for work as usual. Business formal attire takes time (gawd, do I miss my hoodies and cargo pants). OhCountess had already left for the day which requires me to have a little faith that the kids can prepare themselves for the day.

Some days, this faith is sort of rewarded. Some days this faith is but a pipe dream.

Morning Recap:

[Sound heard by OhCaptain] CRASH! [not the biggest crash ever heard, sounded more like the reaction of someone to something, like falling on the floor - guessing 9 year old]


[OhPrincess2] I hate you. I'm going to run away.

[OhCaptain - head falls to chest] Sigh.

[OhPrincess1] Dad! OhPrincess2 threw something at me.

[OhCaptain] I'll be right down.
Editors Note: I've given up trying to determine fair and equitable punishments based on actions and evidence. It's just far easier to assume that they are both guilty of something. Just sayin'

[OhPrincess2 - audibly crying] I'm going to run away. I just don't like you any more.

[OhCaptain - now downstairs, not quite ready for work, visibly upset (read disgruntled)]  Where is OhPrincess2?

[OhPrincess1] I think she ran away. Dad! She threw (insert something about as dangerous a projectile as a piece of paper...) I don't know where she is.


Now at this point, there is a bit of concern in the OhCaptain character. OhPrincess2 is 5. Not exactly old enough for extended travel abroad, but he didn't hear any doors close and none of the external doors are open (and thus not closed...duh!). Which logically points to the fact that OhPrincess2 is indeed on the premise. Whew.

[OhCaptain - to OhPrincess1] Which way did she go?

[OhPrincess1 - still with a fair bit of fight in her] She went that way [pointing to laundry room] but dad, she threw something at me.

OhCaptain really could careless about this part of the argument. Boys seem like they would be so much easier. Seriously, who throws balled up Kleenex's at someone and who really cares that .5 ounces of snot if thin paper were chucked at their head? I mean come on...throw something with a bit more heft and cry when the pan hits you..

[OhCaptain - showing signs of argument fatigue] OhCaptain turns on the light in the laundry room and finds a moving jacket on the floor. The jacket is also crying. Jackets don't cry or move unless small 5 year olds can be found underneath. Most pressing issue now solved. OhCaptain is no longer working on alibis to cover the loss of 5 year old child while said child was on his watch.

[OhCaptain - to OhPrincess2] Are you really running away? Do I need to find you a suitcase and help you pack? You know I'll miss you terribly when you are gone.


[OhPrincess2 - sniffles, shows universal sign of extending arms upward (means - daddy, pick me up)] Yes. I just don't want to be around my sister any more. She's mean.

[OhCaptain] I'm really sorry to hear that. Which suitcase do you want me to get you? How much stuff do you think you will need?

[OhPrincess2] Daddy, I'd miss you too. I don't need a bag. I'm only gonna run away for the day. Well, I ran away to here. I don't need to go anywhere now. [She squeezes OhCaptain's neck with the death grip hug that only a 5 year old can do. Tears hit OhCaptain's neck.]

---

I know this won't be the last time one of the girls threatens to run away and pray they never do for real.

I have no idea what this fight was about. I do know that this happens. The kids fight. I fought with my brother. It sometimes ended up with one of us needing medical care. I'm grateful that this wasn't the case today. Boys seem simpler.

Raising daughters can be so much fun.

Ode to the Rock Star

Back in the day, I was a DJ in a bar. Seriously, for a 21-26 year old male...there is no greater job. IMO. I got paid cash to be the life of a party every Saturday night...oh, and the beer was free, not to mention people often tip the DJ with shots and for some reason the girls always think the DJ is...never mind. I said nothing. Yes, OhCountess was the DJ's girl.

I've always had a knack for pairing music with a situation, place or event. One skill you need DJing in a nightclub is to pull songs out of the air and mix them in to fit the mood of the crowd. Sure, there are several songs you just have to play every night. I throw up a little in the back of my throat when I hear songs like "You Shook Me All Night Long", "Paradise By the Dashboard Lights" and "Macarena". I could go the rest of my life without ever hearing those songs again...which can be tough, the rest of AC/DC's music RAWKS!

To this day I love mixing music to what's going on around me. With a little help of my Twitter friends, I found the word...sommelier. It's a person whose job it is to pair wines with dinner. I'm a sommelier of music. No, country still sucks...but occassionally, Johnny Cash or Charlie Daniels are perfect. I may not personally like country music, but that doesn't mean it isn't perfect for a moment. (I highly recommend not playing music trivia with me for money. Any bar that offers free drinks for guessing some music question usually cuts me off. Just warning you.)

If you follow me on Twitter, it doesn't take too long to figure out that music is a big part of my day. After getting the kids on the bus and to daycare, I strap on the headphones, fire up my iPhone and load up a playlist for the 20 minutes it takes to get to work via the bus. After enjoying the surreal walk through one of the most prestigious hospitals in the world, listening to the musical stylings of some punk band (really, put on the headphones and walk through someplace listening to the Sex Pistols wearing a suit...it's friggin' weird!), I get to my desk, switch headphones and connect the hard drive known as "The Collective" to my computer, start iTunes and chose the tone of music. Easy peasy.

Some days I do wonder, what it would have been like to take that different path...to find a career in rock-n-roll. Actually, there are a few days every month I want to toss out the air guitar and strap on a Strat and play like a madman again...but I digress. I love my life. 2 great kids and a wonderful wife. Living the DJ life, marriage and family don't play well together.

"Our little lives get complicated..."
Love and Rockets - No New Tale To Tell

The past couple of weeks have been a blur, far from the simple life of a DJ. I got to travel by myself for a fantastic weekend with friends in Toronto. This is the first time I've travelled by myself since the kids were born that didn't have a business meeting on the other end. This trip was just beer, cards and a lot of laughter. Repeat after me - Saaawwwwwweeeeeeettttt!

The trip was an absolute blast. I hadn't needed a passport to travel since going to Germany in High School and <sarcasm>I had forgotten how much fun customs can be </sarcasm>. Here's the list of questions I was grilled with:

• Why are you travelling to Canada. For leisure.
• Did you bring more the $10,000 in cash? No (but really wanted to say - to a poker game, are you crazy? Kept lips tight on that one. 
• Are you visiting anyone? Yes.
• What is their names? Names of people I'm visiting. The short list, for god's sake I'm meeting up with like 20 other poker player/bloggers.
• Where are you staying? The host's apartment building has guest suites. Rather nice ones I might add...never mind.
• What's the address? Oh thank you Kat for emailing me this!
• How are you getting there? Jeebus, The host's husband is picking me up...crap this is gonna lead to more damn questions about people I know but vaguely...I'm really hoping my creative writing skills are enough here...oh, and my ability to bluff like a pro.
• What is his name? [name] - Here we go, this is one of my blogger friends non-poker playing, non-blogging husband...thank god I met him once.
• What do you do for a living? Computer Programmer - I could have given him the long form of my actual job title - Senior Analyst/Programmer, but that just leads to more questions. By this time though, I'm struggling with every once of my being to not be a complete smart ass and just start making shit up...
• What kind of car is Keith driving? Grey Mazda - Are you friggin' kidding me? I don't even know what kind of car my parents drive. I think my minivan is blue. So glad they told me ahead of time...and I thought they were nuts for telling me that.
• What do your hosts do? School teacher and a (eyes shifting up and to the left - you do this when you are thinking creatively) sound engineer. I have no idea of EXACTLY what he does for a living. This is pretty close...whew.
• How long are you staying? Would it be kosher to just give him the link to this blog? Seriously, I'm an open book...fine. 4 days.
• Do you only have the one bag? No dumb ass, I rented out the entire plane for all the crap I'd need over the next 4 days. Single guys always bring extra crap...yes sir. The one bag.
• Are you travelling with anyone else? For the love of Pete! No, I'm travelling by myself.

Have a nice trip, and welcome to Canada.

The rest of the weekend will be chronicled on my poker blog and my photo blog.

Missing two days of work is always fun, until you get back and realize you are now 2 days behind. I have one of those jobs that when I'm gone, my work goes "undone". No biggie, I planned for that. What I didn't plan for was the loss our family suffered. As I mentioned in my last post, my wife lost her step-grandfather. Death sucks. Explaining death and cancer to a 5 and 9 year old really sucks. Grandpa was still a pretty young guy. My strongest memory of the man was the fact that I never remember seeing him not smiling. The man had a perma-grin that just lit up the room. His son and my MIL divorced years ago, but never did he treat us like anything but his family. He still called my kids his great grand kids. I will miss him.

We are hoping that life finds a routine soon. Preparing for my trip and our loss have turned the last few weeks into a logistical challenge. We survived. The kids made it through. My blogs...well they've been starved for attention. As I mentioned the other day, I've lost 50 subscribers. It's a technical glitch that's now on day 3. Maybe they were never there. Maybe they were there and they did leave cause this blog stopped updating. Maybe I've lost my edge (huh?). I don't really know. It's weird. I do hope to get back to my usual groove. I haven't really felt funny lately, although I don't really know if I ever thought of this blog as a daily source of funny. It's the life and thoughts of a Midwest Geek. My life and thoughts are what they are.

I still have a few rant posts that need to see the light of day. "Sean Hannity is an Idiot" and "Parents Need to Grow up" are still on the stove. I need to write more. This felt good. Maybe I'll play a little Guitar Hero later.

Eek! Did I say something wrong?

Wow...since my last post, FeedBurner tells me I've lost 50 subscribers...Is there anyone still out there? I said I was taking a break for a funeral...yikes. Tough crowd :-)