Saturday night ain't what it used to be

Ah, it Saturday night. The kids are sleeping, the wife is out with the girls and absolutely NOTHING is on television. Thank goodness for a raging blogging addiction. I shall rant and write and laugh a sinister laugh to myself. Mooowaaaaahhhaaaaaa!

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Chapter 6 of my life continues. I'm starting to settle in to my new job. You've read the posts (or should have...they are below this one silly). Thursday and Friday I was so tired, no posts, but nothing much to write about. I'll admit it here...I got lost in the basement of the hospital. I felt like the guys in Spinal Tap (if you love this movie, let me know!).

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Tonight, the house is quiet. The kids are sleeping. The intertubes are filled with blogs that needed reading. One thing I've noticed, the ladys seem to out number us Dads when it comes to personal/family blogs. Hmm. Wonder why? I actually have no idea. It might be I just haven't found them. But what I do know, I'm out numbered in my own home. It's 4:1 girls to boys in this house. I maintain my manliness by upping the methane output and teaching my daughters the wonders of a deep down belly burp. Yes, my daughters are learning to burp on demand. Get over it. Dads of bloggerville...let me know you are out there!

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In my 38 years of orbiting the sun, I've learned a few things about how to live in the presence of women. One thing I've learned, they won't change. Men will change cause...well...we get horny. Women, they don't change.

I'm, by my nature, lazy. I look for ways to avoid doing unecessary work. My Mom, bless her heart, tried for years to get me to clean up after myself. The poor woman eventually just gave up and most considered me a lost cause. Now let me reassure you, I'm still not a neat person, but I've also learned that if I pick up after myself, I avoid doing future work. Yes, I believe you can learn to be lazy and neat.

The kitchen in our home is my domain. I am the usual cleaner of the kitchen. I hate to cook when its messy. Not because I don't like disorder, but I can't find stuff or space to work and that's a problem. I grew up working in my Dad's restaurants. I actually like cooking. Here's my first major complaint...Do all women just leave there crap around the kitchen? The woman in this house REFUSE to put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher. They just put them on the counter above it. How hard is it to just put them in? We got the dishwasher that actually washes the dishes. No rinsing necessary. UGGG! Being lazy means I don't want to have to do it later...just get it done!

The biggest problem we have in our house is that people refuse to put things away when they are done with them. Being lazy means I don't want to create more work for later. Put it away when you are done.

The food containers that need to go to recycling get rinsed in our house and then are destined for a paper sack in the garage. The woman of this house will rinse said recyclable and then, wait for it, wait...LEAVE IT NEXT TO THE SINK! Yes, I've heard the excuse.

I was running late for work! I didn't have time...

to take this item into the garage where the car is I'm about to drive. I didn't have time to drop an item into a bag that's on my way out of the house. Poppycock! You just don't understand how to be truly lazy.

I love the woman in my home. I'm just tired of watching them make clutter and then complain to me the house is messy. Why do women believe that they men must always change? With as much time they spend looking in the mirror, you'd think...I'll be quiet now.

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You see tonight, I've got no distractions and seemingly and endless supply of time. G over at "it's not about the badge" seems to be upset about Amy Winehouse's recent running up of the Grammys. I set a personable best for the longest comment on someone else's blog! Kudos to me! This easily surpasses my previous longest comment, the holiday classic from Nap Warden's contest post. Not sure the rebutle to G's post is as funny as the contest rendition of a holiday classic, but it was sure fun to write.

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I recently acquired two new games for the Wii. These are the first games purchased with only Dad's desires in mind. The Simpsons Game and Guitar Hero III. I've tried GH3 before. I sucked at it (no, really. I was a champion air guitar in my own mind, but this game seems strangely different). I'll be posting some reviews of them real soon.

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It's much too late and I'm much too punchy to still be going. Night all!